Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened

Nathanael finished his cancer treatment three years ago from a good day this May. So, my journey with Camp Hobe as a camper was capped off on Friday, when we packed our bags back up and left the grounds of Camp Wapiti. My heart is still beating because I know that Hobe will never fully leave me. Though it is no longer a current part of my life, it is still a part of my life because my life is one thing. One long series of events, and Camp Hobe is forever etched into my life as one of those events. That's good.

When Nathanael was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia our family was thrust into a hole of isolation, loneliness, and sadness. I was eleven years old. I didn't feel it so much, but you can bet my mom did. She was heartbroken. It was hard to see her the way she was. And Nathanael got all the attention. Aaron, Gabby, and I were thrown under the bus. And it was hard. But it was especially hard because feeling abandoned is oftentimes what a cancer sibling will feel...and then it leads to guilt because you realize, oh yeah, my brother has cancer and he's suffering. No wonder everyone is paying attention to him more than me.

I didn't once think he'd die though. I didn't have that worry lurking by me everywhere I went. I remember when my dad sat me down on the couch with my brother and sister and told us Nathanael had cancer. I just thought "it'll be okay. The doctors can take care of it." I wonder why I was so lucky to have felt that complete comfort. Life would have been much worse for me without it. I might have felt more like Mom did, or even Dad. So I guess I get to thank my Father in Heaven for giving me that.

I just want to thank Camp Hobe with all of my heart and soul because without it, I would not be this Alessia Dawn Love that I am. We were eligible to go because of our cancer cutie. Though that was the hardest thing in our lives up 'til now, I'm almost glad we were blessed with that trial. Without it, our doors would never have been open to things like Make A Wish Foundation, Hope Kids, Lighthouse Family Retreat, and, of course, Camp Hobe. See? There is always light after dark. Light PENETRATES the dark. Dark cannot cover light. It just doesn't work like that.

And, besides, in D&C 121: 7-8 it says:
7. My son, peace be unto they soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8. And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.

I live by this.

My Song to Camp Hobe (just lyrics):

(chorus)

Thank you

for the times we had

for the love you made me feel

for connections that are real

Thank you

for taking things like that off my mind

for giving me the best friends

for holding my hand 'til the end

(verse 1)

Running up the stairs

and through the stream

I couldn't do

But I was fine

'cause the rest of the world was mine

I had dreams occur and reoccur 

those lengthy nights

it made it better

'cause we were all there together

(repeat chorus)

(verse 2)

people thought that I 

was really cool

you knew I was

you told me so

so thanks for letting me know

we were free to run

around and play

we'd dance and sing

everyone could

we belonged just like we should

and you changed my life

oh

(repeat chorus)

Thank you

for helping my mom and dad

for teaching me my favorite songs

for making winter not so long

Thank you

for letting me laugh so hard

for carrying me when I would fall

for sticking with me through it all

 7 My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

 8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foe