Last Days

I didn't cry.

I'm not all sad that the year is over. But am I glad it's over? HECK NO! I feel some sadness, but mostly excitement and joy. Because I go to Pioneer High School for the Performing Arts. And I am going back next year and the next and the next. As soon as I graduate, you can bet I will cry. But until then, I will just try to soak up everything I can possibly learn, everything I can possibly enjoy. (Also, I think I'm just in a wierd emotional state right now because I'm usually the one who always cries about everything.)

Oh my gosh. I L.O.V.E every single soul that goes to PHS. It doesn't matter who you are. I love you to death. Everyone is so talented and beautiful and unique. And I know that sounds cliche but my heart just feels so big right now. (And that probably sounds cliche too.) But I know what everybody is talking about when they say they just feel happiness. And gratefulness. I am so grateful for this year. I am no longer an ignorant little girl who knows nothing about the world. I am growing and I am learning. I have so much more to improve on, so much more to figure out. But thanks to Pioneer, I'm getting closer every day.

Yeah, for two months and a half I will not have to put on tights and a leotard every morning for ballet. I won't have to fill out a practice log for voice--but I still will, because practicing every day is important--and I won't be laughing in auditions class every Tuesday/Thursday. I won't be practicing a scene with Leah, trying to memorize it the day before I perform. And the idea of all that makes me ache with longing. I cannot express to anyone the love I have for the opportunities Pioneer provides me with. And just for the school itself. It is, as one of our amazing teachers puts it, "A remarkable school for remarkable students." 

Today was graduation, and let me tell you. It was the best thing in the world. We were in AF amphitheater outside and it was gorgeous there. It was also raining...which felt symbolic and beautiful in a a way. The weather was warm and so was the atmosphere in general. I felt at home, like I always do with these incredible people. The speeches given were just gorgeous. Brandon, Allison, valedictorian Michael. Mr. Sam Payne, who is a BOSS! Each one of them delivered such profound words and it was lovely to listen to. I was sitting next to KC, Josette, Bellana, Lexi, Abbey, Whitney. A few of my amazing friends who I've spent this year with, and it was so special.

When Mr. Payne mentioned the PHS trip to New York--which I didn't go on--and how he loved each of the reverent moments that followed it, I just felt so peaceful. He talked about Newsies on Broadway, how all the girls sighed in awe of the shirtless boys, singing, flexing, etc. And then how in the middle of Act 1, a boy executes a lovely clean pirouette. And it wasn't the girls who gasped this time. It was my buddy, Jared Butler.

I was cracking up so hard! So was everyone in the audience. Mr. Payne was so touched by that moment because Jared just works so hard in ballet 1, and only from someone like him would a gasp like that escape.

When he had us come up and all sing Seasons of Love, the song took on a whole new meaning. 

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love? Measure in love

Seasons of love. Seasons of love

Just seriously look at those words. Yeah, this school year has been measured in all of that.Laughter and strife stuck out to me big time when I was singing those words. I was singing with some wonderful people that I will never ever forget.

I was so sad to watch those seniors get their diplomas. I have come close with many of them as I have classes with them. It's not like a traditional school where you don't know any of the seniors. I am actually friends with them, and it won't be the same next year without them. I will be a sophomore, and I will have little freshmen buddies. I might take on the role as someone who may be looked up to. It'll be a lot different, but I'm ready to embrace it.

Thank you so much for creating this school. If you didn't, I would not be the person I am today. I am here because I choose to be. And yes. I miss my old friends like CRAZY!!! If they all could come to PHS, I would jump up and down with overwhelming joy. But I could never leave. I wouldn't trade my experience here for the world. I am learning to shape my lump of clay into a masterful sculpture which is my life.

~Pictures to follow~